


Of Haircuts and Code Names

by ihopethelightwillshineupon



Category: Naruto
Genre: A little canon compliant, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, BAMF Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Bonding (Naruto), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Fluff (Naruto), Dai-nana-han | Team 7 as Family (Naruto), Fluff, Gen, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Trans Character, Trans Hatake Kakashi, Trans Male Character, Trans!Kakashi, Trans!Yamato, set right at the beginning of shippuuden, tenzou is just there for the support and he's very tired of kakashi's bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27189449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihopethelightwillshineupon/pseuds/ihopethelightwillshineupon
Summary: “Jeez, sensei,” Naruto exclaimed, obviously relieved. “I thought you were going to tell us that something horrible had happened. That you were going to die, or quit being a shinobi, or that the world was going to explode.”Kakashi comes out as trans to his students, and accidentally makes a way bigger deal out of it than necessary.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 222





	Of Haircuts and Code Names

“All right. Let’s go over this again.”

Kakashi was sitting on top of his desk, watching as Tenzou paced around his one-room apartment. The bedroom felt very full; it was too small for all this nervousness. Surprisingly enough, most of the nervousness came from Tenzou, since Kakashi had gotten bored somewhere during the past thirty minutes as he waited for Tenzou to stop freaking out. No luck so far.

Kakashi grumbled. “How many times do you want me to repeat myself?” he asked. “It’s not going to get less awkward, you know; I just need get it over with.” He gestured to Tenzou; “Also, can’t you stand still? You’re making me nervous.”

“No, _you_ are making _me_ nervous,” Tenzou shot back, pausing to run a hand through his hair – it was so short, now. It stuck upright in places, little brown spikes. “You’re planning on coming out to your students today, and all you were planning to say is ‘hey guys, I used to be a girl once’.”

“Well, it’s the truth.” Kakashi shrugged. “I don’t know what else you want me to say.”

“You’re a disaster.”

“Sure am.”

“Which is why I’m trying to help you,” Tenzou said, his tone calm but his face very much not calm. “You promised your kids you’d give them an explanation, right? So that’s what you need to do.”

Ah, that damn promise. It had been over two years since he’d made it, and it had been nagging at him ever since. He’d stood at the gates to Konoha, waving at Naruto as Jiraiya took him away. That was the second student he’d lost in a week’s time, and soon, Tsunade would take Sakura away from him, too.

He’d suddenly been overcome with this indescribable despair – this fear that this kid, too, would leave and never come back. Like Sasuke had. Like Sasuke had left _without ever fully knowing Kakashi_.

And suddenly, the only thought in his mind was that he’d never forgive himself if he let his team fall apart like this. If he did nothing, like a coward, when he’d finally found this place where he felt like he _belonged_.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he’d all but blurted out towards Naruto, “but I’m saving it for when you come back. So come back alive, and soon.”

Naturally, that had drawn Sakura’s attention as well, but Kakashi had been too startled at his own words to say anything, let alone make up an excuse. And after that, Sakura had been too busy to ask him about it again.

Kakashi had _almost_ forgotten. _Almost_. But Sakura was far too sharp to ever forget, and Naruto had this obsession with promises, so of course they’d cornered him the moment they returned. Kakashi had made an attempt to wriggle himself out of his promise – he’d told his kids that he’d only tell them if they beat him at a second bell test, but then they’d actually managed to _beat him_ , and now he was screwed.

Kakashi groaned. “I really wish I’d just kept my stupid mouth shut,” he sighed. “I’d take an S-ranked mission over having this conversation. No, actually, make that _fifty_ S-ranks. Throw in a near-death experience, too, and it would still be better than this.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Tenzou hushed him. “You somehow managed to tell me, too – and that was back when neither of us knew _anything_ about being transgender. If anything, this should be easier. At least, this time, you know what you’re talking about, more or less.” He leaned against the closed door, crossing his arms. “So think for a moment, and just figure out a place to start.”

_Just figure out a place to start…_ It sounded so much easier when Tenzou said it like that.

Because Kakashi’s story started when he was born with a name that he hadn’t used in fifteen years, now. It started when he breezed through kunoichi training in a year’s time at the age of five, and when that felt _wrong_ , and when he got special permission to train with the male Academy students as well. It started when their sensei addressed that class with ‘guys’ and ‘boys’ just for the sake of convenience, and when that felt correct even though Kakashi was still a kunoichi.

His story started when Sakumo died without ever calling him ‘he’ or ‘him’ or ‘my son’, and before Kakashi had a chance to ask him to. It started when Kakashi kicked Obito’s ass for whining about being stuck with _so many girls_. It started when he asked Minato-sensei not to call him by his full first name anymore, and when Minato assumed it was because Sakumo had always called him that, but it was mostly because the shortened version of his name could be a boy’s name.

His story started in ANBU, when he no longer had anything to lose. When he started wearing a mask, and then another mask on top of that, and the bulky unisex flak jackets hid the shape of his upper body. When he angrily chopped off his hair one day and never grew it out again. When his squadmates made fun of his messy haircut, and when he took their words and turned them into his identity: ‘scarecrow’, ‘Kakashi’.

And then there was the more recent stuff: the way he’d clumsily come out to Tenzou – still Kinoe, at that point, and going by ‘her’ – on the day that he’d leave ANBU, so that he’d never need to speak to Tenzou again if he didn’t react right. The way he’d later told his fellow jounin-sensei, and how Gai had said that he didn’t mind calling Kakashi by a different name as long as he could still call him his rival.

His eternal gratefulness that jounin uniforms were wide and long and concealed every single curve of his body. His eternal _anxiety_ every time his students wanted to take a bath during a mission, even though he never got fully naked anyway and the surgery scars on his chest hardly drew any attention beneath his countless battle scars. All the moments he’d considered coming out to his kids and then changed his mind, and now he’d put it off for long enough that one of his kids was _gone_.

All of those moments were perfect starting points for an explanation. There were far too many.

“I’ve decided that this is impossible,” Kakashi concluded after a whole full minute of thinking.

Tenzou sighed a long-suffering sigh. “ _You’re_ impossible,” he said. “Just make up your mind. If you wait much longer, you’ll be late to meet your students.”

Kakashi scoffed. “How terrible. I’m sure they’ll be heartbroken.”

Eventually, Tenzou finally let him go, even though they’d hardly made any progress. Kakashi made his way to where he’d agreed to meet his kids – they were going to have lunch at Ichiraku’s. Hopefully, Naruto would be too distracted by his ramen to properly pay attention. It would be a blessing if Kakashi only had to deal with _one_ of his students at a time. Maybe he should’ve met them separately. Ah, too late now.

Tenzou had it easy, he thought bitterly. He didn’t have any students to come out to. Plus, he’d started questioning his gender so much later on in his life, and now, enemies no longer recognized him from the Bingo Book. _And_ Tenzou’s chakra reserves were also bigger than Kakashi’s, so he could use _henges_ to change his voice. How rude.

“Kakashi-sensei!”

Kakashi raised a hand to wave; Naruto and Sakura were already waiting for him at the ramen stand. Naruto pointed at him angrily, a big gesture.

“You’re late!” he shouted.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kakashi replied with a smile. “One of my friends was keeping me hostage.”

“That’s a lie!”

“Hey, I _do_ have friends, you know.” Kakashi stepped into the ramen stand, his kids following him. “Have you ordered yet?” he asked them.

Sakura shook her head. “We weren’t sure when you’d show up, so we haven’t ordered yet,” she replied, and Kakashi recognized something of Tsunade in her tone. “If we _had_ , we probably would’ve finished eating already by now.”

“All right, all right, I get it.” Kakashi smiled privately underneath his mask. It was pretty much routine that his kids nagged him about his tardiness – he’d missed this, over the past two years. It made this day feel like any other day, and that put Kakashi at ease.

The three of them sat down and ordered their food, and then, Naruto turned to Kakashi. “Sensei,” he said, and his face was serious. “You wanted to tell us something, right?”

“Yeah,” Kakashi replied. Despite the familiarity of the situation, the lump in his throat had returned. “That’s right.”

His kids stared at him, and Kakashi swallowed difficultly. His eye flicked over to the ramen stall owners – but he didn’t need to worry about them, because they’d already found out two years ago, when they’d accidentally caught a glimpse of his face. His very much _feminine_ face.

Kakashi had never found it necessary to make his face look more masculine; he could go to one of the wealthier countries for hormone therapy or plastic surgery, but Kakashi could barely stand the Leaf’s medical-nin poking and prodding at him, let alone medical-nin that he didn’t even _know_. His mask and convenient _henges_ worked just fine, except for those few few times in his life that he’d slipped up. He was still eternally grateful that they’d never blabbed.

“Well?” Sakura asked, her expression now edging towards worry at Kakashi’s silence. “What is it, sensei?”

Kakashi took a deep breath. Crap, if only he’d thought more seriously about where he wanted to start… “So,” he began, haltingly, cautiously. “This might get a little difficult to explain, so if there’s something you don’t understand… then please tell me, so that I…”

“C’mon, spit it out, Kakashi-sensei.” Naruto impatiently bounced in his seat. The stool creaked underneath his weight; he wasn’t small enough anymore to abuse the furniture like that. Sakura turned to him and told him to shut up.

Naruto’s encouragement gave Kakashi a burst of confidence. He spoke quickly, before he lost his courage again. “Uhm. So, guys,” he said. “I was born as a girl.”

Stunned silence followed. Kakashi hurried to explain further – Tenzou would _murder_ him if he left it at that – and continued: “I trained as a kunoichi when I was younger, but that never really felt right. So when I joined ANBU, when I was about your age, I started going by ‘he’ and ‘him’. Officially, I’ve been going by Kakashi since I became a jounin-sensei. I’m…” He sighed when his mind blanked, willing himself to find the right words, or any words at all. “It’s important to me that you know this. About me. You should know that I’m transgender.”

His kids still stayed silent – Kakashi didn’t quite dare look at their faces. “I’d appreciate it if you said _something_ ,” he said, trying to hide his nervousness underneath a laugh.

Finally, Naruto spoke, his eyes wide with… relief? “Jeez, sensei,” he exclaimed. “I thought you were going to tell us that something horrible had happened. That you were going to die, or quit being a shinobi, or that the world was going to explode.” He huffed; “You really scared me!”

“Yeah, sensei,” Sakura agreed, her expression similar to Naruto’s. “I’m glad that you told us, truly, but please don’t make us worry like that again.”

That weight that had been sitting on Kakashi’s chest all morning, was finally gone. He smiled and scratched sheepishly at the back of his head. “Sorry for scaring you,” he said. “I just couldn’t figure out how to tell you.”

Sakura leaned forward, resting her chin on her intertwined fingers. “So much stuff makes sense, now,” she murmured, her expression thoughtful. “There were certain pages of your medical record that Lady Tsunade wouldn’t let me see, sensei – I think they were from seven years ago. I figured that you might’ve been really sick and didn’t want anyone to know, but I think I understand, now.”

Kakashi nodded. “I had top surgery at that time, yeah.” He made a mental note to thank Tsunade for her discretion whenever he got the chance.

“So _that’s_ what those scars were from!” Naruto exclaimed. He then paused, his face scrunching into a frown. “Wait, what’s top surgery mean?”

“It’s…” Sakura began automatically, always ready to give information, but she paused and looked at Kakashi for his approval.

He just nodded and smiled; “You’re a medical-nin, Sakura. You can probably explain it better than I can.”

She nodded, smiling back at him before turning back to Naruto again. “People get top surgery to remove their breasts, Naruto. In Kakashi-sensei’s case, it was to make his chest look flatter.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” Naruto looked at Kakashi, his eyebrows pinched together. “Did it hurt, though, sensei? Your surgery?”

Kakashi couldn’t help but laugh; Naruto looked so _serious_. In some ways, he truly hadn’t changed. “Don’t worry, I was healed up quickly,” he replied. “Medical ninjutsu is a thing, you know, Naruto.”

“Hey! I know that!”

While Naruto protested loudly as Sakura laughed at him, their food arrived. Kakashi was thankful that the lump in his throat had disappeared; he hadn’t been able to eat anything in the morning, and now that his nerves had calmed down a little, he was _starving_.

He thanked the ramen stall owners for the food and, while his students were still distracted, pretty much inhaled about half of his ramen. It tasted good.

His mask was back up by the time Naruto leaned to the side to look him in the eye. “Hey, sensei?”

“Hm?” Kakashi hummed back, because his mouth was full.

“So…” Naruto was speaking slowly, the way he did when he was trying to think while he talked. “So if I understand this right, ‘Kakashi’ wasn’t always your name, was it?”

Kakashi almost choked to death on his ramen. By the time he’d stopped coughing, Sakura was yelling at Naruto.

“It’s really rude to ask transgender people about their birthname, Naruto!” she shouted at him. “And even if Kakashi-sensei doesn’t mind, please _think_ before you say something, for once!”

“What? No, that’s not what I was going to ask!” Naruto turned to Kakashi again. “I was going to ask Kakashi-sensei whether he picked his name himself. Did you, sensei?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah. I did.” His heart still raced in his chest, but he never should’ve doubted that Naruto’s intentions were anything but pure.

Naruto cocked his head at him. “But then, why would you pick a name like ‘Kakashi’?” he asked, sounding genuinely confused. “Like, ‘scarecrow’? Honestly, that’s pretty weird, sensei.”

Kakashi was only _barely_ quick enough to stop Sakura from throttling Naruto. “Naruto is allowed to express his opinion, Sakura,” he said, laughing as she growled. “I know my name is pretty weird, but there are far weirder names in the Leaf.” He smiled sweetly at Naruto; “And you, my dear ramen-topping-named student, are a prime example of that.”

By the time Naruto had stopped yelling and Kakashi had stopped laughing, their ramen had gone cold. Kakashi decided to pay for their food, because he was partially the reason why they hadn’t been able to eat their lunch while it was still warm.

The ramen shop owner smiled at him over the cash register; Kakashi’s kids waited outside. “You’ve got yourself some very supportive students, Kakashi,” he told him. “I can tell that they’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed them, too,” Kakashi admitted. “They’re a little loud, and a little rude sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world.” He sighed as he pocketed his wallet again. “Please don’t ever tell them that, though. They’d let it get to their heads immediately, and then they’ll never shut up again.” He made a point to talk a _little_ louder than necessary, so that Naruto and Sakura might be able to hear him from outside. On the walk back home, Naruto was a little more energetic than usual, and Sakura just smiled a lot, so Kakashi was pretty sure they got it.

Back in his apartment, Tenzou was waiting for him, still pacing around the room like a lunatic. Kakashi thought it was nice of him to worry, until Tenzou tried to strangle him for messing up his coming-out.

Such kind people, Kakashi’s friends.

He didn’t know what he’d do without them.

-END-

**Author's Note:**

> Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the different aspects of life in a shinobi world (because I’m a nerd who loves worldbuilding), and the subject of being a transgender ninja really got stuck in my mind. The result is this fic: part a little case study of being transgender in a shinobi world, and part fluffy coming-out story, ‘cause I’m always down for some good ol’ fluff
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading, stay safe, and have a nice day! :)


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